IRL Community Life Cycle: a decision-making tool for IRL Builder
Learn how to grow and sustain your in-person community with a proven, stage-by-stage framework. This guide helps IRL builders make clear decisions at every phase: from idea to scale and beyond.
What do you do when your community starts losing momentum? Or when it suddenly feels like... work?
Over the past few years, we’ve seen a massive wave of people craving real connection, not another group chat or Zoom call, but walking together, sharing meals, lingering in person. In that wave, thousands of local communities and friend groups have formed: run clubs, women’s circles, language meetups, slow dinners. ”There are over 300,000 running clubs on Strava”, according to Strava. These clubs offer runners a way to connect with others, find local running routes, and participate in group activities. Strava's annual Year In Sport report also indicated a 59% increase in running club participation in 2024, demonstrating the growing popularity of these communities.
But building a thriving IRL community doesn’t just mean getting people in a room. The hard part? Sustaining it. Growing it. Or knowing when to evolve.
Inspired by years of testing (and borrowing a little from the online world), I’ve created a framework for what I call the IRL Community Life Cycle, a simple, human way to think about the natural phases every community goes through, and what to do at each turning point. This isn’t just a growth model, it’s a decision-making tool.
IRL Community Lifecycle
From Walks to Real Friendships. Using a Walk & Talk Club for Women in their 20s and 30s as an example. You're building something special: a space for offline friendship in an age of isolation and loneliness. The core offering is simple and powerful: walking, talking, and connecting. But building a truly sustainable IRL community goes beyond the first few meetups. This is the lifecycle that guides your journey from hunch to movement.
Phase 1: Ideate
Checkpoint: Is there a real need and are we the right ones to create for it?
You notice it: Women in their 20s and 30s are craving real friendships outside work, dating apps, or forced social settings. You think: “What if we just… went for a walk together?” It’s low-barrier, safe, and disarming. People open up when they move.
Do:
Do your research, talk to potential members. Ask: “Where do you meet new friends and what’s missing?”
You can do this on social media, reddit, female online communities.
Clarify your hunch: is this about loneliness, wellness, depth, new-in-town energy?
Prototype a walk: 3–5 people, no pressure
Set up a new account on Instagram & TikTok
Create a Reel with content from existing walking communities and leverage
Post a date and route, host the stroll (walk & talk)
Watch for:
Women say: “I’ve been looking for this.”
People stay after the walk, grab coffee, exchange numbers
2–5 folks ask: “Can we do this again next week?”
This is emotional product-market fit, on foot.
Phase 2: Validate
Checkpoint: Will women show up and want to return? Now you host a few walks. No fancy branding. Just real intention. You test the format: location, duration, size, vibe.
Do:
Pick one reliable route (central, safe, public)
Set clear expectations: “This is about walking + talking. No pressure to network.”
Ask for post-walk feedback: What felt good? What didn’t?
Watch for:
Repeat walkers show up, they make time
New people say: “I saw this on TikTok / Instagram”
Group chat forms organically (WhatsApp, Geneva)
If people say this was the highlight of their week, you’re onto something.
Phase 3: Buid
Checkpoint: Is this more than a one-off or is there rhythm? The walk becomes a ritual: every Sunday, same time, same spot. You stop wondering if people will come and start wondering how to hold the growing energy.
Do:
Rename your club if necessary. Identity creates gravity (e.g. “Stroll Sisters”, “WalkTalk city name”, “Girls Who Walk”, “Girls Walking Talking”) and add always the city name to become visible on search engines.
Add simple rituals: pre-walk check-in, post-walk photo, optional after-walk coffee
Create an invite loop: weekly IG posts, shareable links, clear CTAs
Watch for:
Guests bring +1s without being asked, mostly it’s about 99% come solo, 100% leave as friends
You recognize familiar faces and new ones too
DMs like: “This was exactly what I needed”
You're building trust through consistency.
Phase 4: Growth
Checkpoint: Are members becoming co-creators, not just consumers? Growth doesn’t just mean more walkers. It means shared ownership.
Do:
Let others lead warm-ups or be walk buddies
Invite regulars to suggest new routes, themes (“Career Talk Walk”, “Breakup Walk”)
Offer side formats: brunch walks, journaling walks, dog walks
Watch for:
Regulars ask: “Can I help host next week?”
Spinoff walks emerge: weekday strolls, walk & reads, 1:1 buddy walks
The WhatsApp community and sub-group chat becomes a mini social hub: plans, memes, encouragement
You’re now the facilitator of a friend-making movement.
Phase 5: Scale
Checkpoint: Can this grow without losing the intimacy? Word is spreading. Walks in other cities. Different time zones. You need systems and culture stewardship.
Do:
Create a simple host kit: safety guidelines, tone, conversation tips, how to welcome new people
Onboard new hosts with 1:1 calls or training walks
Explore expansion paths: walk & picnic events, hike days, mental health collaborations
Watch for:
Culture stays intact even when you’re not present
Hosts feel empowered not overwhelmed
You scale depth, not just numbers
Your core product is still walking + talking, but your impact is much larger.
Phase 6: Maturity
Checkpoint: Is this sustainable and still fulfilling? Your club has structure. There's identity, belonging, stories, inside jokes. But you feel a shift. Things are changing and that’s OK.
Do:
Ask: “Is this still nourishing me and others?”
Check in with long-time walkers: what’s missing now?
Refresh formats: themed series, collaborations, local artist walks, field trips
Watch for:
More returners than first-timers (and that’s good)
Word-of-mouth drives attendance
Or… fewer sparks. Less energy. Time to decide: evolve or pause?
Friendship ecosystems evolve, your walk club can too.
The decision point: sustain, evolve, or sunset
What does this community need now: a rest, a refresh, or a relaunch?
Sustain: Let the machine hum. A monthly walk, led by rotation. A quiet corner of joy in people’s month.
Evolve: Try new things: seasonal hike & picnic days, walk & sketch sessions, weekend retreats. Maybe launch a podcast or a zine, built from the trails.
Sunset: Not all communities last forever. That’s okay. Archive the memories, host a final gratitude walk, and let go with intention.
⚠️ Warning signs to watch
Stay close to the pulse, most communities fade, they don’t fail overnight.
The Drift: Walks get quiet. No one connects. New people feel lost.
The Cliff: A misstep — unsafe route, poor host behavior — and trust breaks.
The Domino: You burn out. Events stop. Momentum dies.
Catch it early. Adjust gently. Or ask for help.
Final note of my own experience
A Walk & Talk Club isn’t really about the walking. It’s about creating space where people feel free to connect. No pressure. No small talk scripts. No screens. Just honest, human connection. Take your time. Listen deeply. Let real friendships set the pace. Take a moment to reflect: where is your community right now, and where do you want it to go? The next step doesn’t have to be big, it just has to be yours.
Best,
Gerrit
Gerrit Dokter is an expert in IRL Community building & IRL marketing for consumer brands, creating loneliness solutions for Gen Z and Y, and social entrepreneur based in Munich, Germany. When he’s not exploring the future of friendships and IRL connections, he’s probably diving into the latest research on loneliness, sharing knowledge about IRL community that sparks real-world connection, or curating unique experiences that bring people together. Say HEY on LinkedIn — he’s always up for a good conversation.